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Captain America’s Civil War Speech

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Captain America: I remember the first time I really understood what it was to be an American… What it was to be a patriot. I was just a kid… A million years ago,… Continue reading

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Magneto and Iron Man

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Iron Man: I feel the fillings in my teeth rattle, and I know it’s on. Magneto: This one is arrogant and reckless, even for a human, but in my experience, he is no… Continue reading

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Professor X Teaches Cyclops Control

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Cyclops: It just isn’t fair… It makes me so angry. I feel like punching out the next moron who calls me a freak. What if I took off my glasses and just blasted… Continue reading

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Cyclops Strikes First Against Captain America

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– Avengers VS X-Men #1

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Robin Gets Starstrucked

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Alfred Pennyworth: We have a special guest. Robin: You…You… Superman: Robin. Good to finally meet you. Robin: Superman’s in my house. Superman: Please…Clark. Robin: Oh, okay. I’m Dick–Richard! Richard Grayson…Sir. Superman. Superman: Heh,… Continue reading

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Batman’s Gaydar Works Perfectly

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Batman: The computer will randomly choose two seconds of footage from one of sixty Gotham traffic cameras… Tell me everything you saw. Superman: Um… Batman: One visible license plate TTS552. There are six… Continue reading

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Spider-Woman Damn

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Spider-Woman VS X-Women

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– AVX VS #6

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Magneto VS Iron Man

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– AVX VS #1

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Spider-Man Banters With The Void

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The Void: I am the Void! I am the bringer of destruction and death to this world!! Spider-Man: Oh, man, I’m sorry. We weren’t really looking for a bringer of destruction… But we’ll… Continue reading

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What Makes Spider-Man Uncomfortable

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Spider-Man: Well, I’d like to thank our new mystery ninja Avenger. Whoever you are, for bringing us these guys right to us for a change. Luke Cage: Because…? Spider-Man: We didn’t even have… Continue reading

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Spider-Woman’s Second Power

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Wolverine: All right, spill it. Spider-Woman: What? Wolverine: What’d you do to him? Spider-Woman: Just talked to him. Just tried to stall him. Wolverine: Uh-uh. Fess up. I can feel something comin’ off… Continue reading

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Luke Cage’s Simple Philosophy

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Luke Cage: I hold to a simple philosophy: Just assume everyone’s a piece of crap and then be pleasantly surprised if you find anyone who ain’t. – New Avengers Vol. 1 #5

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Spider-Man Plays The Name Game

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der Spider-Man: Hi–I’m the Amazing Spider-Man, and you are? Hello? Luke Cage: Come on, who are you? Ronin: Captain America invited me. Luke Cage: Yeah, I know. Who are you? Ronin: I’m sorry.… Continue reading

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Hand Ninjas Smell Like What

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Spider-Man: Boy, I don’t know what you Hand ninjas use in your laundry…But you guys smell like a garden of lilacs. It’s really quite lovely. Iron Man: You ever get a whiff of… Continue reading

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